top of page

Gloriou5 #7 - Exploding Package Design, Canned Radiation and Selling w/ Joe Dirt

Welcome to another installment of the Gloriou5. Like an out of control bottle rocket I soar thru Al Gore’s fantastic internet galaxy gathering my favorite fascinating and slaphappy digital distractions and oases, then I share them with you. Since it's that time of year when we are assaulted by Chinese made micro-bombs bursting in air, this week's picks are packed and loaded in the theme of "things that can and do go boom".


Do we really understand the true size and power of the internet? Could the internet fill up to capacity and pop like a balloon? This website shows you exactly how vast and ever-expanding Al Gore’s magical internet is and how it is growing - roughly…24,000 gigabytes a second. Gawk in awe as the visual data calculation increases with every Facebook like, tweet, gloriou5 blog post, and Amazon purchase tallied in real time. Beware, it might just blow your biological hard drive.

How a product looks is so important in the consumer buying process - especially if it's a commodity product (like rice, mustard, and bottled water). When trying to capture the consumer eye in a market of equal and same products a well-designed shelf appeal can give one brand an advantage over another. This Gloriou5 pick shows some fireworks box designs that does a pretty good job of getting me to stop, ponder, chuckle, and choose what highly volatile explosive to throw into my cart.

My favorites: Neighbor Hater, Blonde Joke, Puppy Poopy, and Ambushed (with mashup George Bush + Six Million Dollar Man graphic).


A mentor of mine once told me - when I was pitching him my latest world changing invention - “just because you can make it, doesn’t mean you should.” Here is a collection of the oh-so-weird and kooky inventions from the past that should have not have ever been made. But, I am so glad they didn’t listen to their critics and went all the way to production.

My favs: an actual phone answering robot, the suspended baby cage and the rainy day cigarette holder. God bless the american maker and entrepreneur!


4. TODAY'S SPECIAL: Canned Radiation

Speaking of product design, this is one of my favorite gift categories, fake and prank products. Behold this novelty classic, ”Canned Radiation" (1979, 80) from Three Mile Island that was produced by Brenster Enterprises of Etters Pennsylvania. Bravo Brenster for being able to take one of America’s worst environmental and PR disasters and transforming it into a solid revenue stream and a pop culture treasured collectible. That’s turning radioactive lemons into nuclear lemonade.

The big question is: can I get organic or gluten-free canned radiation?

My favorite listed benefit on the can: 4. Instant male sterilization (sniff twice daily).


(photo courtesy of

I know, I know. Why the hell is Johnny including a stupid Joe Dirt movie clip in a best of the internet rundown? Maybe it’s the spirit of July 4th has taken me over, or I scrambled my brains when I was dangerously close to my own fireworks display, or maybe we all just need a good laugh. But, in this humorous (PG-13) clip - Joe Dirt teaches us a very sound principal in sales: It’s not what you (the seller) likes, it’s the consumer”.

Sage advice Joe Dirt, sage advice.


Guest Contributor Gloriou5 - Scotty White

In our Trump-ian WWE political climate this Appalachian Mountain Wrestling League wrestler is truly a perfect and brilliant "heel" (that's villian to all you non-wrestling fans). Bravo Dan Richards, bravo! Scotty passed this sublime contribution to the Gloriou5, it became quite the hit with The Uncle Henry Show. Thanks Scotty, and keep sharing the finds.

(via Deadspin)

Want to submit your Gloriou5 picks?

Please send me a link and why you love it to

Quote of the Week:

“Sometimes you get the best light from a burning bridge.” - Don Henley

Sponsored Podcast of the Week:

Swain Sinus Show - When and why you want to consider Sinus Surgery (Dr. Ron Swain, Jr)

Sign up for my Gloriou5 email list and get a FREE Mobile Skyline printable photo.


Johnny Gwin is a part-time blogger and once upon a time bass player in a traveling americana rock band. When rock stardom failed to launch he threw himself into to the world of advertising & design. After 16 years of the ups and downs of agency life he has found balance in his two lives. One life entails being a creative and graphic designer at 1Horse Design. The other is Content Director, Host and Producer at Deep Fried Studios - Mobile, Alabama's only podcast creation and production studio dedicated to creating the smartest, most compelling and entertaining podcasts possible. Recently, Johnny has launhed a t-shirt and apparel company called Deep Fried Threads. Click here to visit the shop.

Featured Posts
Recent Posts
Search By Tags
Follow Us
  • Facebook Basic Square
  • Twitter Basic Square
  • Google+ Basic Square
bottom of page